The Punishment

I hope god is happy now. I know i didn't desearved much more, but at least i've been true to myself, when i said that i realy regreted my actions, in the last few years. If i really had been faithfull to to the principls that i true believed back then, i wouldnt have messed things around. But i didn't need a priest to say that to me, because i have heard it a lot in the last few months. If it wasn't for my bad attitude, mabe my life would be so much better now. But i already knew all that. Didn't need no one to telling me that, just for the sadic pleasure of waching me suffer. I never believed in god, nor even i am a catholic person. So, yeasterday i was passing by trough a church , when a priest came near me. First he said hello, and was very gentle. I told him right away that i didn't believed in god or in curch. In one thing i agreed with him, after a samll discussion. One must always be faithfull to him self, trying always to reach a little closer to perfection. After a while, i told him i had done many things that i regreted, and that i've already paid for... Even though, he tryed to convince me to speak about that in a more specific way, and i agreed with him, even though i was already late. I was in a rush, because I had my my drivers licence test Thursday, and i needed to practise some more exercises. Even though i told him a few things, and i felt better. Not in the tradicional confessional type, but in a friendly chat. I told him i felt terribly bad for something i had done in my past, even though, i believed that i already had been punished for that. He agree with me, and said that i had offended god in so malefic ways, that i should ask for a real redemption, in a traditional confession. He also said that if i didn't confessed myself, i would never be forgiven by the Holly spirit, and would be miserable forever... He also told me that he had an idea to help me solve my problems. So i went there the next day, as we had arranged.
After entering the church, the priest yelled at me to get out imediatly, in a very rude way. I did't understood at first, but then i thought that was because i was speaking too loud, and in a informal way. In fact there was other persons in the church, that is true. But i haven't been inside one for so long, that i completly forgot that. Enven though i tried to explained him, that we had arranged a small talk for that day. After all he remembered who i was. But no. He just stood staring at me, telling me to get out. "And what about that little conversation, that we were suposed to have?", i asked him. "There is nothing to talk about. I've been with good, and he told me that your sins are to serious to be forgiven, and you don't deserv an absolution. So, you will carry that cross till the end of your days, because you are a very bad person. You will be miserable. Get out!". At first i didnt took that to serious, even though i really wanted to know his opinion about that problem, and to listen to his advice, or even solution has he said he'd got. And by that time, I hardly knew that his attitude of indifference could cause me so much pain and suffering. So, I came home thinking about that, and I had that toughts in my mind trough the hole night. I couldn't eat, coud't study, and coudn't close my eyes at all. That problem that i wanted to talk about, became even more terrifying to me... And news is that i've failed the license test. I still don't believe in god, and in priests, but i start to believe that there is a punishment waiting for us, right around the corner...